Wannabe Yogi

I'm very fond of calling myself a 'wannabe'.  I have a nice little list.  Wanna hear it?!  Here it goes:

Wannabe photographer

Wannabe oenophile

Wannabe foodie 

Wannabe writer

(hopefully you don't need help visualizing this one, friends)

And, most recently, a wannabe yogi.  I know I must be on everyone's nerves with all of my yoga talk.  Sharing poses.  Sharing positive mantras.  But I'm sort of a yoga-geek at the moment!

What great yoga hair!

In my very first blog I mentioned that I'd like to go to counseling...to pay someone to listen to me bitch.  However, I think that I have found my 'inner' counseling in yoga.  I love the spiritual lift it gives me.  I love how it reminds me of what is important in my life and what is so unimportant.  I love that I can almost do the splits again!  I'm like...THIS CLOSE!

Marilyn...always inspiring to me

My dilemma lately has been with exploring different forms of yoga.  I'm really missing Bikram.  I think what I like about the "torture chamber" of Bikram is knowing what comes next.  I know that Pranayama Deep Breathing is always first, I know that Half Moon Pose comes next, so on and so forth.  I'm finding that in other forms of yoga I'm always looking around trying to figure out what this new/next posture is.  Maybe it just comes down to practice.  I'm sure I'll get it figured out.

I want to look this good doing yoga!!

I look forward to 'mastering' wall yoga, Vinyasa, Hatha, Ashtanga, Iyengar, etc.  However, at this moment my heart lies with Bikram.  I look forward to getting back to a Bikram class as soon as my wallet can afford it!

 Until then, Namaste, my friends!

 “Have only love in your heart for others. The more you see the good in them, the more you will establish good in yourself…” ~ Paramahansa Yogananda

Completion!!

Eric had this waiting on me after my Day 30 class!

Today's blog is accompanied by photos of some of my crazy adventures over the past few years.

Well, it has been 3 days since the final class of my Bikram 30 Day Challenge.  I wanted to sit on it a bit before blogging and I'm glad I did.  One thing I learned about this challenge is that my attitude changed from class to class, including the final class.  Some nights I would leave the studio feeling complete, at peace, elated, grateful, and thinking "This is the best thing I've done for myself in a long time".  Other nights, I would be in the class thinking "What the hell am I thinking?!  Why am I subjecting myself to the heat, the injuries, the 'torture chamber'?"..as Bikram Choudhury himself calls it.

Zip-lining

It became quite the love/hate relationship, this 30 day affair between myself and Bikram yoga.  And, unfortunately, I had a pulled hamstring for the final 4 or 5 days of the challenge and was unable to do a few of the poses properly.  I think that is why I left my final class in a kind of lackluster mood.  I didn't feel the pride and the sense of accomplishment that I had expected.  And that led me to think that Bikram wasn't in my heart as much as I had thought.


Until Tuesday evening.


I felt a sense of loss not going to class.  I missed it...even though my body is sore and aching and I have a pulled hamstring.  The same thing happened yesterday; I kept thinking of class and of the poses.  After a dinner with the family (that included some of my much neglected wine!) I came home (yes...slightly buzzed) and proceeded to "teach" Eric all 26 poses of Bikram!  I've stated in previous posts that my balance leaves a lot to be desired in class...well, as you can imagine gravity was NOT kind to me while drunk-yogaing.  (yes, I think I just made up that word...go with it).

Helicopter ride over NYC

So I've determined that, love it or hate it, it's in my heart now.  I want to continue going and continue to reap the physical, emotional, and spiritual benefits.  I just wish it weren't so darn expensive.  $17 per class, $125 for 10 classes, or $1350 for annual unlimited!!  Wowza!  But I'm going to try to budget to do at least 2 classes per week.  Eric even insisted that I find a way to make it work because he can tell it's something I really like (sometimes!).  And I found out through a friend there is free yoga in the park on Sunday's...not Bikram...but with our summer heat it will be close enough!

In the end, after 30 days of 90 minute classes at between 105~110 degree heat, after a pulled neck muscle and a pulled hamstring, after the tough classes and the great classes, I am very glad that I got this wild hair up my (now tighter) butt and took and completed this challenge.  Having never taken a Bikram yoga class in my life, I think it's a pretty great feat to have jumped right in to 30 straight days.

Rappelling

I have to say thank you to my family, friends, coworkers, and Facebook peeps for putting up with me as I pretty much made my life about Bikram yoga for the past month.  I'm certain I was annoying and incessant about it.  And I'd like to thank Eric for dealing with a very dull and uneventful July; I was always either at class, too exhausted from class, or had to go to bed early to go to an early class.  Not to mention the stinky, sweaty clothes and towels that were always hanging from the shower door.  Thank you my love.

And thank you to my yogi's at Bikram Yoga North Scottsdale.  There were times when I really struggled, but everyone at the studio was so kind and inspired me so much.  I certainly picked a great studio in which to learn.

Trapeze

I can now add this 30 day challenge to my list of adventures that includes (but is not limited to) zip-lining, rappelling, trapeze school, helicopter ride, X-Scream, Insanity, and the Big Drop.  Keep watching for what's next!

 Breathe and all will be revealed, love and all will be healed. This is yoga. -Seane Corn

Day 21 = 9 Days Left!

Day 21 Blog accompanied by Photography Adventure Group's daily theme of Peace.

I'd like to start today's blog by sending my prayers out to the people affected by the tragic shooting in Colorado.  Sometimes my mind is baffled by the unexplainable actions of certain individuals.  That makes the daily photo theme of 'Peace' even more special. 


Now on to less important things like my 30 Day Bikram Yoga Challenge!  Okay, look, I am loving Bikram.  I love what it has done for my mind (more aware and thoughtful), and for my body (down to 133 today!).  I love how this challenge has pushed me beyond what I thought I could do.  I love the instructors (most days!).  I love the people I've met.  I love the sweat.  I LOVE THE SWEAT! 



BUT...I am tired.

I am so, very, tired.  My 40 year old body is not used to 90 minutes of hard core workouts every single day.  And getting home at 8:30 every night during the week leaves me with 9:00 dinners and no time to run errands or clean the house (you feel me ladies??).  And then the 5:30am class on Friday's...well...let's just say that by the time I get home at 6pm I'm too tired to do anything but sink into my comfy chair.  I've never been a morning person!

And then there are the new aches and pains.  The worst has been my hip flexors.  I have been in such pain in this area that at work I groan each time I get up or sit down.  My friend, Kelli, turned me on to the foam roller which has eased the pain some.  The other "sports injury" I have experienced is rug burn.  Or, more precisely, towel burn.  My chin and my knees are quite chaffed...and that's not really a sexy look! 




So, to sum up my bellyaching blog, I'm tired, I'm sore, I'm beat up, but I love Bikram!  I am completely looking forward to completing the challenge (NINE MORE DAYS!!), taking a few days off, and then going at my leisure...probably a few times a week.  I hope that I have found a workout in Bikram that I will maintain for a lifetime.

Now, my next challenge (which will NOT be for 30 straight days), is to try something that my friend, Heather, is teaching in Indianapolis called SUP Yoga.  I just need to find a place in Phoenix that is teaching it...so if anyone out there knows of a place...please let me know! 

In closing, please wish me luck on finishing my final 9 days.  I know I will do it (I'll get 'er done), but I want to finish with grace and dignity and with a complete feeling of success and accomplishment.  And I want to lose 7 more pounds!  LOL!

Namaste.

REAL Peace is always unshakable... 'Bliss is unchanged by gain or loss'

Yogi Bhajan

Day 10 - Double Digits / Beautiful Brittany

Day 10 Blog accompanied by Bee Photography photos based on Photography Adventure Club daily theme of 'Celebration'

Celebration of Life

Well, today was day 10 of my Bikram yoga 30 day challenge!  I'm into the double digits now!  Yay for me!  10 down...20 to go!  And once again I'm writing about my 'tough' instructor, who taught tonight's class.  You may remember that this time last week I felt picked on by her and brought to tears by the end of class.  I was dreading her class this evening.  She is a by-the-book Bikram instructor.  She takes every word of Bikram Choudhury to heart.  She can do every pose perfectly and seems to expect the same of her class.  She will call you out if you're not doing it correctly and toss the rare compliment if you happen to do it perfectly.  That's why I'm on cloud 9 tonight...I received FOUR...count them...1- 2- 3- 4... "Beautiful, Brittany!" comments from her tonight!

Wedding Celebration

It turns out that she is also a school teacher.  And just as I have been from kindergarten on, I am that student who wants to do her best and please the teacher.  So, as tough as she is, her approval has become important to me.  I want her to be proud of my poses.  And tonight was the best class I've had so far!

It's a nice turnaround from a tough weekend.  I strained my neck on Friday during rabbit pose and had to set out a couple poses for 2 days.  But tonight I came back like a true yogi!  :0)  I currently have delusions of grandeur that I can become a Bikram instructor!  I finally have most of the rules down (or so I think...it seems new ones pop up every few days depending on the instructor):

Indy 500 Celebration

1.  Breath through the nose; close your mouth.
2.  Heels together toes fall to the side.
3.  Arch your back, way back!
4.  Lock your knees!  Lock your knees!  Lock. Your. Knees!
5.  Keep your eyes open during Savasana.
6.  Try not to use your towel to wipe off sweat.
7.  Don't drink water between poses.
8.  Touch your chin to your chest.
9.  Get into Savasana as quickly as possible!
10.  Touch your forehead to your knees.
11.  Toes together heels fall open.
12.  Look at yourself in the mirror...don't even blink.
13.  Breath through your nose!
14.  Lock your knees, lock your knees, final chance...LOCK YOUR KNEES!

Okay, okay, there's much more to being a great instructor I realize.  And I suppose I should first become a great student!  I'm just on a Bikram high at the moment.  Another great class of connecting with my body, mind, and soul.  I can promise you there will be a night soon enough where I can't touch my forehead to my knee and will be scolded...if not by the instructor than by my own self.  But until that night I'm going to float on the high of "Beautiful, Brittany" for just a bit longer.

A photographer gets people to pose for him. A yoga instructor gets people to pose for themselves.

T. Guillemets

Celebrating Halloween in the Big Apple

Day 7 - Introspective

Merriam-Webster defines introspective as "to engage in an examination of one's thought process and sensory experience."  For those of you who have done any form of yoga you probably know that it can be a very introspective experience.  My instructors call our 90 minute long, 26 poses a 'moving meditation'.  We breath only through our nose in a very controlled manner.  This way of breathing in itself is a powerful method to bring our attention inward.  

Southern Arizona Skies

We are also encouraged to maintain eye contact with ourselves in the mirror.  This has only become easier for me in the past day or two.  I HATE looking in the mirror at myself.  Just as I hate being on the other side of a camera.  Probably like a lot of women out there, I focus on the negative...the fat rolls, the disappearing eyes, the one leg that is longer than the other, etc.  And being in a room heated anywhere from 105 to 110 degrees does not a pretty girl make!  My face becomes a frightening shade of crimson, I can see sweat literally dripping from my nose and elbows, my hair...well, my hair is a bird's nest of crooked, sweaty bobby pins.  Not exactly a time I want to be gazing upon my reflection!  However, at the insistence of my instructors, I am learning to focus solely on myself; to stop glancing around the room; to stop worrying about what people are thinking about me; to shut out what is going on around me, and to come into my own body, mind, and soul.  

Cattedrale di Santa Maria - Siena, Italy

Thus, over the course of these past 7 days I have become introspective not only during Bikram, but also in my everyday life. 

Butterfly on Dais

It just so happens that during this time of examining my thoughts and feelings, I come upon the 5 year anniversary of my dad's death.  7/7/07.  Lost to COPD brought on by smoking.  Lost after a double lung transplant.  Take those words and think on them for a moment:  Double.  Lung.  Transplant.  He was so afraid to have that surgery.  Refused to at the start.  But as his breathing worsened, and he got that phone call, he knew it was his only option.  He never left the hospital.  I meditate on that as I'm sweating through my 90 minute introspective yoga class.  I meditate on the good times we had.  I examine my feelings of guilt for moving across the country against his wishes as he struggled with this life/death decision.  

St. Frances - Assisi, Italy

I am grateful for these past 7 days.  Do I LOVE Bikram yoga?  Not like I love a good bottle of Kim Crawford Unoaked Chardonnay (3 more weeks, Kim!).  But I do love the feeling of accomplishment; the self-awareness; the alone time with me and my thoughts; the feeling after class of having sweat out not only toxins, but also negativity; the feeling of oneness with my body.  I feel more a part of my own body than I ever have.  Does that make sense to anyone besides me?  I feel the changes; I feel new muscles; I feel old muscles coming alive, stretching, awakening.  And it's only been 7 days!  As difficult as this challenge is, I'm still looking forward to what the next 3 weeks may bring!  Thank you for sharing my journey.  I miss you Dad.  XoXoXo

 Yoga is the perfect vehicle for change of yourself. First by creating a strong and powerful body and mind. It is a starting point from which you can begin to realize your human spirit.

— Bikram Choudhury

Day 3 - First Fart and First Lesson

Day 3 Blog accompanied by Photography Adventure Group's daily theme of Independence.

New York Stock Exchange

Yes, the first Bikram fart came tonight.  Although I'm happy to say it did not come from my tush (yet), it did, unfortunately, come from the person directly in front of me.  <sigh>

So, I wasn't going to blog about tonight's class.  I don't intend to bore you all with the details of all 30 classes by any means.  However, tonight I feel like I kind of got my first 'lesson' and thought it significant enough to share.

Tonight's instructor was actually the woman I mentioned in my first blog who's kickass body inspired me to get through that first class.  When I learned she was teaching tonight I told her as much and she was very sweet and gracious about it.  We talked about the student teacher who taught on Sunday and she assured me that her teaching style would be more informative and that she would help to ensure I was doing the moves correctly.  I told her I would very much appreciate that.

Washington Monument and American Flag

Maybe that's where my mistake was.  The class included a man there for his very first time, a girl who was there for her 2nd time, and me for my 3rd time.  The other people were, I assume, not newbies.  From the very first breathing posture she started critiquing me aloud.  That's fine.  I am QUITE OBVIOUSLY still learning and appreciate the help.  And of course I want to know what I'm not doing right.  The 2nd posture she critiques me again.  The 4th posture, again.  After about the 8th or 9th time I was kind of over it.  The only other names she called out were 'Jennifer' and 'Christina' and that was to praise them.  It felt as if I were the only person in the room doing the postures incorrectly.

Freedom Trail in Boston, MA

So, as the temperatures rose, as my body got weaker 60 minutes into class, my appreciation for her constructive criticism evaporated like my fellow yogi's fart in the heat.  I found myself fuming.  I found myself shooting daggers at her each time she called my name.  Honestly, the anger energized me enough to finish the class with good form in my final poses.  Was I praised like 'Jennifer' or 'Christina' for my Sasangasana  or my Janushirasana ?  No.  But I wasn't criticized for them either.

So, as we lie in the dark in our final Savasana at the end of class, our instructor begins to talk to us about the power of our own selves.  She begins to tell us how the power of Bikram can make us physically stronger and mentally stronger.  That each day we have what we need within ourselves to get through whatever life presents to us.  That no one should be able to make us angry or upset; that would be giving our power away.  That we should have the strength to say 'No' so that the power of 'Yes' is more meaningful.  That we should not apologize to anyone for how we feel.  And suddenly, my anger disappeared as a tear rolled down my sweaty cheek.  I got my first Bikram lesson.

Let no one steal your peace.

— Bikram Choudhury

Wishing you all a happy and safe Independence Day!!

Day 2 of Hotter Than Hell Challenge

Day 2 Blog accompanied by Photography Adventure Group's daily theme of Red, White,  & Blue.

So, Day 2 of Bikram Yoga was better.  Not easier, mind you, but better.  The instructor was not a student and therefore was much more informative and helpful.  Still no farting but the guy next to me was burping.  ??  Bikram burping?  I only sat out one pose tonight...again, more from the heat than anything.

What I'm most worried about at this point is how time-consuming this is going to be for a month.  I got off work at 5:00, ran home to change clothes and throw the hair in a ponytail, got to the studio and sweat my ass off for 90 minutes, and by the time I got home tonight it was between 8:15 and 8:30.  That doesn't leave much time for anything!  And it means late dinners...which are supposedly bad (although I've never really bought into that).

Oh well, I'm sure it will all be worth it in the end.  And with such little free time...it leaves no time to even think about alcohol!  I'm actually kind of looking forward to weighing in at the end of the week!  Never thought I'd say that!

I ended the night by jumping into the pool in my birthday suit under a brilliant full moon.  I hope you all got to see it tonight.  As my friend, Kelli Donley wrote, we're all 'Under the Same Moon'.

Namaste

July 1st - Day One of my 30 Day Challenge

Day One - 136 pounds

   And so it begins.  I leave the house in short shorts and a tight workout shirt...hating the view of my muffin-top but knowing that I will be burning about 700 calories...I do what must be done.

The owner puts me in good position to see the instructors who are actually taking the class, as today's class has a student teacher.  Luckily, I'm right beside the thermostat so I can keep my curious eye on the temp for the entire 90 minute class.  We start at 105 degrees with 40% humidity.  Position 1 - Pranayama / Standing Deep Breathing.  Breathing?!  I can do this!  Easy-peasey!  Position 6 - Dandayamana-Janushirasana / Standing Head to Knee Pose.  Um...maybe a picture would explain why this is where I started getting wobbly:

Not to mention by this point the temp was already up to 108 with 42% humidity and I'm sweating out of pores that I'm pretty sure spontaneously popped up today.  700 calories...700 calories...this became my mantra!  And, lucky for me, the instructor who was participating in class had a kickass body and I kept telling myself that by the end of my 30 days I would look like her (shut up...it got me through the class, okay?!).


Position 13 Padangustasana / Toe Stand Pose...half way there!  Shit!  What the hell is this position?  I'm supposed to balance on my toes while squatting in what is now 110 degree heat with 44% humidity?  Really?  Needless to say...one hand remained on the floor at all times for this pose.

Pose 14 gets us to the floor at least...no more balancing acts...unless you count balancing on your neck.  And so it goes, one position after the next, repeated twice; until we come to the end where there are a few more breathing exercises that I did NOT understand how to do.  All in all it wasn't so bad.  The highest temp I saw was 110; I didn't check the clock until 70 minutes into it (those last 20 minutes were pretty brutal); although there was a LOT of sweat dripping I did not smell any farts (something I was warned about).  And I only sat out 2 poses...1 repetition of each so I DID do all 26 poses...I just needed to catch my breath because I started to feel a little faint from the heat.


Things Learned on Day One of Bikram Yoga:
1.  Take more water
2.  It's difficult to do certain yoga poses when you're covered in sweat...must figure this one out
3.  It's freakin' hot
4.  I'm actually quite limber and flexible!
5.  I have no balance!  (okay...I've always known this...as have my friends!)
6.  Take more water
7.  I was starving afterwards
8.  I am completely drained and exhausted now.  No soreness...but wiped out for sure.


So, that's it.  1 day down and 29 to go!  Now I must go take a nap!
(yoga photos courtesy of  www.yogadallas.com)

Update:  Went to take a nap at 2:00...something I very rarely do...and was just woken from a deep sleep by Cyrus barking at 6:45!  I'm still zapped!  

Hello Blog World!

I set up this blog page a year ago.  One year.  Can you say 'procrastination'?!  I blame it on television.  That damn boob tube sucks up too much of my time.  But I find those Housewives addictive!  Anyhoo, here I am!  What finally urged me to post, you may ask?  Changes.  I'm trying to make some changes in my life at the moment.  It may be a fleeting moment, I'll admit.  But maybe, just maybe, if I put some of it out there in the world for others to witness I will stick with some of the changes. 

Change Number One.  Drinking.  Or, more accurately, NOT drinking.  I am a wino.  I love the stuff.  I love to come home after a long day at work and pour a big cold glass of Chardonnay and watch my Housewives.  And then pour another big cold glass and watch The Bachelor or Bachelorette.  So on and so forth.  However, as of today it has been 6 days since my last alcoholic beverage and I feel pretty good about it.  I didn't make a decision to quit...it just kinda happened.  And I have no intentions of staying sober (ie: boring?) forever.  Let's just say wine and I are taking a break in our relationship.  So, that change, timed with a FB post a friend made about a Bikram yoga challenge, kind of went hand in hand! 

Change Number Two.  Bikram Yoga 30 Day Challenge.  Now, my friends and family may think that giving up alcohol might be the bigger challenge here.  I, on the other hand, fear this hot, sweaty, stinky, intense, body-twisting yoga challenge more.  I mean, let's think about this a minute:  I'm to put on small, tight, clothes (oh Lord help my fellow Yogis!), go from 112 degree Phoenix weather into a 'cool' 105 degree yoga studio, do poses I haven't done in 7 years, for NINETY minutes.  Why?  Why am I doing this?  Well, I need to lose some of my wine weight; it's said to be a good detox for the body; I always enjoyed (cold) yoga; and the challenge came right at a time where I had decided to stop drinking...perfect timing.  Oh, and I'm a crazy redhead who likes to try new adventures!

Change Number Three.  Blogging.  So, as I mentioned previously, I've been meaning to blog for some time now.  A few years ago I had a job where I was traveling all over the US.  I had every intention of blogging about my experiences in LA, NYC, Boston, San Francisco, San Diego, DC, etc.  It really pisses me off that I didn't do that.  I didn't even keep a journal.  Shame on me.  So, while those blog posts may have been a little more entertaining than everyday life in Phoenix, I am finally doing it.  Hopefully I will have SOME travels to post about in my near future.  A trip to Napa is planned for October!

Change Number Four.  More Photography.  Lately, between the heat and trying to learn LightRoom, I have been taking fewer pictures and spending more time editing the ones I have.  I'd like to challenge myself to take more photos.  I tried a photo-a-day last year but that only lasted a week or so.  We'll see how this one goes.  You, my 'loyal readers' (please note I have NO followers as I write this) may grow bored of photos of my cat and dog every day and I'd hate to lose you before I even get you!

Change Number Five.  Therapy.  Yes, I've said it.  I've put it out there with no shame.  I'm thinking of finding a therapist.  I won't divulge too much here other than to say...I'd love to pay someone to listen to me bitch for a solid hour!!!  And it might make for a fun blog post afterwards!

Okay, that's enough for today.  In fact, this is pretty monumental!  A new blog and FIVE life changes!  Wish me luck!  I begin Bikram in the morning!! https://www.facebook.com/bikramyoganorthscottsdale